"This may sound somewhat odd, but this episode got me extremely heated. You know who else has a birthday on June 24th? That would be me. You know who had an epic birthday this year? Again, that would be me. Tom conspired with my mom, my brother, and Scheana's family to organize a surprise visit from them for my birthday. I don't know if I have felt more surprised, loved, and grateful in my life than in that moment. A big group of us went to Disneyland (Tom's first time), and it was my brother's first time in California. Tom, my mom Tanya, my brother Jeremy, Scheana, Shay, Jax, and myself had dinner prepared exclusively for us by a chef who uses some of the most exotic ingredients I have ever had. We had some picky eaters at the table, so it was hilarious to watch. We went dancing and a plethora of good times were had by all.
All of this was such a wonderful time filled with joy and laughter, and what did we experience instead? Stassi taking more heaping diarrhea dumps on people she deems lower than herself based on the weakest and most irrelevant set of criteria I have laid eyes on. I can't be the only person who is so utterly tired of seeing and hearing the same tawdry garbage over and over. I might not have a ton of petty conflict in my life, but I would personally prefer it that way. I'll go out on a limb here and say there has to be a large number of people who agree with me. I won't give it any more attention than that, because it is not worth another thought.
When I dropped Tom off at Schwartz's house to leave for San Diego, I think the only smile I saw was on Jax's face. Given that our trip to Miami was coming up, I think the last thing Tom wanted to do was party with a bunch of smelly dudes. I'm glad that everyone is getting to see what a trip with Jax can be like. The partying, the lying, the backtracks on lies, and the deflective coverups. This is the second time I have heard Jax try to "relate" his situation to some other situation in Tom's life, and I am so glad Tom doesn't ever let him get away with that stratagem. Tom gives zero f---s and our relationship is built on solid ground. It is Jax who should be mindful that his lies can and will solidify any lingering mistrust Tom has for him and their ever strained friendship. Jax has not one shred of incriminating information about Tom and we all know he will definitely try and lie about that too, if he has to. Nobody takes it seriously, as 99.9 percent of human beings know better than that.
Sorry Scheana, but I do have to call you out on one thing. I heard "Ariana wouldn't want to believe that" in reference to something Jax would or wouldn't say about Tom, and you know me better than that. I don't have faith and I don't believe. Facts are facts, and there's no arguing with them. A really great technique for liars is to make passing comments that are somewhat unrelated to the main subject, and if you don't catch or correct them, you find yourself allowing them to permeate the greater psyche. If you ever studied debate, as I did, you are familiar with the terms "red herring" and "non sequitur." See how many times you can catch this happening in this group of people. Make it a drinking game and you'll be wasted depending on who is speaking.
I'm glad Scheana invited Katie to Miami, because I would absolutely love for the three of us to be able to be friends. I also really wanted Katie to come because I love hanging out with her. At this point in time, Katie and I had been getting to know each other better and I personally wanted to continue that. The more I got to know her, the more I enjoyed her presence and perspective. Scheana and Katie are two people I have respected and valued in my life separately and I would love for them to come together. Scheana went out of her way to invite Stassi, and that girl did not deserve her kindness nor the effort it took. I do not understand Stassi's appeal or how anyone takes her seriously. She has to resort to insults about Scheana's outfit or her appearance because she has nothing of any substance to say. All the while, she has been dressing like a grandma wrapped in bedsheets for weeks now. Nobody wants to hang out with Jax or Kristen on this trip, but there are roughly 15 other people going, so I don't see how those two are such a problem when Stassi's best friend is one of those who will be there. All I see is petty nonsense and poor judgement.
Scheana's bridal shower was a real afternoon delight. I have to say, those pink balloons I brought for Scheana's shower were such a pain! They looked great, but a handful of them popped before I even got to Villa Blanca and I thought I was going to get in a car accident with them filling up the backseat of my Jetta. We had such a great time at the shower and even setting the scene was a pleasure. We played games, ate a ton of cake and goodies, and I even partook in some rare day-drinking. Its hard not to when Pandora has a beautiful pink sugar-rimmed champagne cocktail waiting for you.
One of the things I love most about Tom is how much he makes me laugh. He is just so silly and self-deprecating and couldn't care less as long as it is making me laugh. People who know us will often refer to me as the "funny one" in the relationship, but between the two of us, it is actually Tom making me laugh the most. I also appreciate his preference for spraying a tan on and not using a tanning bed. Skin cancer is real, kids, and it'll get you.
Til next time, Happy New Year!"
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Vanderpump Rules airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo
Source/Photo Credit: Bravo