"Have you ever put a bunch of ingredients in the blender, hit power on only to realize that you forgot to put the lid on, so it sprays everywhere? This is exactly how my brain feels after this episode. There has been so much going on and so much building up that finally everything has just exploded into a million pieces.
What a relief it was to see Eileen and Lisa V. arrive in Amsterdam. It was only a tiny calm before the storm, though, because sh-- hit the fan almost immediately. As I watch the show today, there are so many little details and nuances that I'd forgotten in the months since the trip.
As soon as we sat down for dinner, you can see how aggressive and extremely discontent Kim Richards was sitting among us, waiting for the slightest thing to provoke her anger. She looked at whoever was speaking with disdain, just waiting to challenge them. Yolanda was a gracious hostess, though, and tried to make the best of what appeared to be a rocky beginning to the night. I, for one, found Yolanda's suggestion that we each discuss something in our lives that has moved us deeply to be heartfelt and touching.
As I spoke of my own sister dying at age 21 of a sleeping pill and alcohol overdose when I was six years old, I really allowed myself to become vulnerable among these women. I trusted each of them to let me tell my story and perhaps allow my words to be a bonding experience, so I took the opportunity to once again apologize to Kim for overstepping a boundary of hers. Had I known that sharing a story so deeply rooted inside of me would cause Kim to lash out at Eileen, Kyle, and myself, I would have never opened my mouth and allowed us to be left open to her uncontrollable anger and spiteful words.
The insults she continued to hurl at Eileen were terribly disgusting and hurtful. To sit there and insult her physical appearance, call her a “beast,” and tell her to shut her f---ing mouth was just beyond. I mean, even to this day, all I can do is stare in wide-eyed horror and shake my head in disgust. As for Kyle, I wouldn’t presume to get in the middle of family matters, but I am horrified by the way Kim treats her. I can only hope they find a way to settle their differences because this is just so NOT OK.
Again it was Yolanda who tried to bring a little dignity and class back into the conversation. Unfortunately, Kim twisted what Yolanda was trying to do into a deflection away from her own behavior and onto my husband and me. Where on earth did that come from? I am fiercely protective of my marriage and my family, and I'll be damned if I let someone as disturbed as she is create false rumors about my husband. I think it's plain to see that Kim crossed the line. That was my "DO NOT F--- WITH ME" moment. You have just met my inner gangster! I'm just glad that I didn't strangle her on the spot, mainly because I hear the food in jail sucks and orange is not my best color! The crazy part is Kim has met Harry once, one time. And that was the night of the poker party when she had taken one or two or 20 of Monty’s pain pills, so who knows what on earth was going through her mind when she met him or during that car ride from hell.
Look, I own the fact that I allowed myself to be provoked, and it was uncool to break a glass in the restaurant. It was not one of my finest moments, but there's only so much my inner gangster can take before she goes postal. It was all very draining, and by the time we got to our conversation the next morning, I was really over it and not looking for another fight. Besides, we were in Amsterdam for God's sake, and it was beautiful and I wasn't about to let Kim, of all people, ruin my short time there, so I stopped reminding Kim that I had, in fact, come directly to her with my concerns and just took the high road.
Chaos and anger aside, I really loved being in Amsterdam, especially with such a wonderful and generous tour guide as Yolanda. Riding bikes through her quaint village to the windmills was refreshing, cathartic, and good for the soul. The cake eating was pretty funny and then, of course, more drama ensued, which I couldn't get away from fast enough. I was in survival mode already just trying to get through the evening, let alone another five days.
More from Amsterdam next week..."
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