"Well it isn't an episode if I'm not crying, so I was true to form here. Thankfully this is the last tear of mine this season. I'm sure you're not shedding a tear about that.
Look, I'm not the first person to ever have a brutal divorce. My daughter is my everything, and my heart aches every moment I’m away from her. I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions, and she comes first. I didn't make a big deal about the trip. The girls did. I didn't ask them to change it. It felt like some of them were looking to make something of it. My stuff is my stuff.
I remember that day, and it really felt that Kristen was looking to stir it up with me, albeit subtly. Here is my advice: You do you, and I'll do me.
I'm excited for Luann. I think she is choosing the right path for her business. And she really is beautiful and a pro. That is how it is done.
I giggled at the conversation with Ramona. She just makes me laugh. I keep her around to be entertained, and she never disappoints. And she is always oblivious to the joke, which makes me laugh even more.
Regarding the Carole lesbian dream scene, can everyone get off me? I'm not here telling Carole that she needs to perk up and become more motivated, so she doesn't need to worry about my intensity. I haven't written eight books, done a talk show, nine seasons of reality TV, created two workout DVDs, raised a 5-year-old, and built an international brand by being "chill." She can sit right down, BUT I will let her go down on me in her dreams.
For now, that will be the extent of my lesbian experiences. I like men. This is how I got into all this trouble that Carole wears on her t-shirt.
I LOVED our broads' dinner. I feel badly that we talked about Sonja and our opinions about where she is in her life. There is more to this story on this night, which will play out this season. I maintain that Sonja is a good person, who is sweet, fun, and sexy. She is also holding onto a lot of stuff inside that no one sees. Maybe even Sonja doesn’t see it. And that night proved that blondes do get more head turns.
Ramona came in hot on Kristen at Luann's suite. This is because Ramona knows a lot about the ins and outs of my situation, and she saw Kristen chomping at the bit to start a conversation about the trip. Ramona will take a hit for me. So maybe I will owe her one in the future. But there will be some bumpy roads for Ramona and myself, so buckle up.
Ok, Bravo fans. Now you need to really strap in, because this show is about to get crazy. This is vintage Housewives that you have been awaiting with my return. Watch what happens! #theBisback"
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