"With the exception of a few “spot fires” I have been single for quite a while now. In fact, this is the longest that I have been without some form of a romantic attachment since the age of sixteen. I have adjusted to my single life. I’m ok with it… I would even go so far as to say that I’m embracing it with the freedom and independence that it brings. My boys, however are not convinced and they have decided that “it’s time” for me to get back in the saddle again and get in a relationship. I think they might worry about me being lonely or that the fact that I’ve suddenly taken up an obsessive interest in cats. The boys, being classic gen Z’s their first port of call is obviously the Internet. I would prefer to go for a more organic approach, but they are quite insistent that this is now the way to go. I was surprised to see that they have enthusiastically taken to the task of finding me a partner with the vigour and dedication of two middle aged Jewish matchmakers. Going forward I might have to change their names from Monty and Rupert to “Yente” and “Tzeitle”. I blame myself. After all, when they were growing up I did make them sit with me and watch “Fiddler on the Roof”, like thirty-two times!
It is difficult to talk to your children about relationships. I have been married twice and have had a long term relationship. My boys have seen me get hurt. As a consequence they are very protective. Many a night they sat rubbing my back as I sobbed on my bed with such a force that I thought my chest would explode. Their support was heartbreaking and heart-warming at the same time, to see so much compassion in boys so young. At some point in the stages of parenting there is a role reversal and your child takes care of you. I can see this is already the case with my boys. They are looking after me very well and I can say that I am extremely proud of them both.
On another note and in an attempt to set the record straight, Lydia and I have a long history, but during that time we have never really been friends. I partly think that the divide is due to the fact that our definitions of friendship are poles apart.
As I have said, I was most upset when my ex-husband told me that Lydia was behind the rumours that were circulating about me after my marriage broke up. It was many years ago and I am well over it. What I am not over is being used as a tool of deflection. Lydia and I separated from our first husbands at exactly the same time and in order to deflect from her own situation, I believe she spread a series of untruths about me which were not only slanderous, but incredibly hurtful and destructive. I do not have a “vendetta” against Lydia, nor have I chased or valued her friendship.
In the first season, I thought her behavior towards Gina and her eye-rolling and lack of support for her cancer charity was despicable. Then in Season 2 Lydia divulged the salacious gossip about Gamble to Janet then sat back quietly and ruthlessly let Janet take the heat for the entire season. To watch her in action like this where she causes an explosion and fuels the flames then sits back with a stifled smirk appearing to admire her handy work, is far more than I can bear. The last emotion that I would feel for Lydia is jealousy. I have her measure and I’m just not falling for her act. In her defense, at least she’s consistent.
The other issue that has arisen with Lydia is the Shane Warne gossip rumours that were raised at Baking Day. Shall we call all this ‘Warniegate”? It was inevitable that this would come up at some point. To say that my asking about Lords and Warnie was an attempt to jeopardise her marriage is ludicrous. I think Lydia has done a good job of that herself. It is not so much my raising the issue, but Lydia’s actual behaviour that in my view would put any relationship in jeopardy. I think that Lydia has been incredibly delusional and naive, or maybe just plain arrogant, to think that a married woman can be been seen out regularly and on overseas trips with such a high profile personality and not think that it would pique interest. Moreover, it was Lydia documenting their every move so brazenly on social media. How could she then be shocked and outraged that this has garnered gossip and innuendo? It was convenient that Lydia chose to single me out and accuse me of spreading the rumours when she herself was the one fueling them. What was really upsetting was that I came to realise that I have been dragged in and accused of spreading gossip in an effort to both undermine and discredit me.
When I finally sat down to discuss these issues with Lydia, her reaction was to try and belittle me by being condescending. Lydia’s reasoning was not to concede that I had her measure, but it was because I was upset with her for ignoring me and not spending enough time with me… Not granting me enough time in her regal presence… La la la, puleeese! Lydia possesses such a grandiose sense of importance and entitlement that I find quite laughable…. Also I couldn’t help but see the humour in the fact that we must have looked an absolute sight! Two tragics from a Dickens novel, I’d say “Great Expectations” to be precise. A pair of bitter and twisted Miss Havishams sitting in our decaying wedding dresses, bemoaning the usual Dickensian themes of wealth and poverty, love and betrayal. Lydia, a sofa upholstered in a floral brocade fabric and me an overly decorated, fossilised cupcake… Way past the use-by date!
Susie Xx"
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