"Yes, I take full responsibility that my timing was completely off when I asked Gamble to think about why she really wanted me at her wedding, I could kick myself silly. I am human and it was a knee jerk reaction to the events that stacked up that entire afternoon.
I am sure, some of you at sometime in your life have been somewhere you just don’t feel welcome and you know it, but you are too polite to leave. Well that was how I was feeling the entire afternoon at Gamble’s.
Let me recap the events. I was invited only a day before the event to Gamble’s (unlike the other girls). I accepted because I really wanted to mend our friendship. I wasn’t aware Gamble was handing out her wedding invites. Even though she said it was a surprise, the other women knew about the invites prior and I was out of this loop. The only interaction I had with Gamble at her home was “hello,” “you’re arrogant,” and “get f****ed!”
After a very emotional chat to Lydia about our fractured friendship/trust, it broke my heart when Lydia told me that the other ladies don’t like me and refuse to do anything with me. Most of the girls say they have never talked about me behind my back, (who are they kidding?) Jackie and Gina pipe up and say they only insult me to my face. Thanks girls. The knives in the back are insufficient, so let’s put some knives straight into my heart. I felt the pain of that little girl in me that was on the outside looking in. My emotions are strained, but my mental strength allows me to stay strong, yet I am saddened by the events around me. Furthermore, I am upset that I caused Gamble to react this way. However, she storms off and reiterates what I already know to be the real truth: “I don’t even want her there really.” A sane person will agree that my question to her is justified.
I don’t need to be physic to realise Gamble’s true feelings towards me from the day we met. She only knew me for a quick minute and labelled me Nouveau Riche Barbie – I am proud of that status Gamble. At least I contributed to society to get to where I am today. She trashed my book after reading the synopsis, (callous move Gamble, support good deeds.) She spreads horrendous lies along with Gina and Janet, (Janet, with the surprised expression 24/7,) to the press and media saying I have Botox and fillers, (don’t be bitter with me because my face moves and comes with all its’ original parts), and her choice language and constant digs towards me is blatant. Now that is putting someone down Gamble, so don’t try to pin your behaviour on me and play the sympathy card.
What I said about you is a walk in the park compared to what you have done to me. I should be suing your arse till the end of the earth. The problem is you will come back as the earth is round and has no end.
Lets be honest here, I was not trying to put Gamble down, I leaned forward quietly and politely asked her to think about it. In fact, I was the one who was feeling humiliated, when she bypassed me and invited the extended family members of the other girls before me. I genuinely thought Gamble was not inviting me, it was written all over my face at the time. I think Gamble is playing the victim and getting away with it as she has the support of all the other girls. It is impossible to defend your case when you are on the outside been savaged by everyone.
I may not allow the other women to see me crumble inside, but I do have feelings and it is hard to be in a position alone and defending myself without another voice of reason or someone who can be neutral to the situation. It is draining. Several of the women have formed a group mentality in regards to their thoughts towards the situation. None of them are interested in giving me a chance to say a word, instead they are barking insults and accusations. The women are attached to the notion that I ‘refused’ the invitation and have immediately deemed Gamble ‘the victim’ and myself as ‘the perpetrator’. This is a clear distortion and embellishment of the truth. Every time I tried to explain that I only wanted Gamble to think about why she invited me, (as I did not see an extension of the olive branch by her behaviour that afternoon), another women shuts me down. It is impossible to defend myself against seven women yelling insults at me. I was crying on the inside, but stood strong on the outside because I was feeling terrible that Gamble was upset, but I was given no mercy by these grown women, (so called friends), they had no issues beating me up while I was helplessly trying to explain that I did not mean to cause this rift.
I was disappointed in Chyka. She’s had many opportunities in the past to defend the other ladies, Lydia, Gina or myself. She has either laughed with everyone, pulled faces, kept her mouth shut or only defend her friends, she is the peace maker on a case by case basis. Chyka defends people, but not the issue. (Watch this space.) In my instance she was right on my awful timing, however very quick to forget the history between Gamble and myself and laid it on me hard. I wasn’t assuming anything Chyka, I was just going on how I was treated by Gamble in her home. When I mentioned to Chyka that Gamble called me arrogant in her home, she said “that was in jest”, “she was making fun that you and her has had a volatile relationship.” Seriously Chyka? If you are going to defend someone at least do it right.
Gina, don’t deflect your expectations on me, I wasn’t expecting an invitation on Gamble’s knees, begging me to come or any validation, I am capable of giving myself the validation I need, this is an over exaggeration on your part Gina. You can keep the tray of lasagne Gina, if you made for me it would probably contain cat feces. Lol. Where is my good friend Lydia? Agreeing with the pack of hyenas.
I am already feeling guttered when Jackie comes bellowing at me. Jackie furiously leaves Gamble to come attack me. It doesn’t matter if I have done right or wrong. Jackie is always looking for a chance to shoot me and Gamble’s tears were an easy arrow.
The first thing Jackie says to me is “Pettifleur you got her crying now,” as if I’m not already feeling like a speck in the dirt and sick to my stomach. She then continues “we spoke to you about this and said to you, you need to move on from this subject.” She then opens her mouth with lies! Lies! Lies! When in the hell did you or anyone have a conversation about Gamble or her wedding to me. Jackie pulls s**t out of her a**e all the time and gets away with it. (Watch this space.) I am on to her and bull s**t.
Again I try to explain to Jackie how I am feeling about this situation and she in Jackie true form cuts me down and says “I don’t want to hear about you right now it’s her wedding.” Susie then pipes up and says “It’s not about you. This was about her and giving her friends an invite.” Do these women even have a heart or a conscience, how do they sleep at night? What baffles me even further is that the women are in complete denial that they were slicing me up, ready to throw me into the frying pan.
If you haven’t noticed girls, I have not been treated like a valued friend by Gamble. Is it ok to be at the bottom of the pecking order as mature women? I don’t need these women to complete me, I need them to accept me completely, (something I don’t think they know how to do). By this time I am feeling pulverised and ambushed by everyone yelling at me it was like vultures attacking its pray.
I couldn’t bear it anymore and said I was going. Jackie says “walk away,” Lydia says don’t leave and Susie says “I think she should, right here, right now.” When I heard that from Susie I felt like a dagger to the heart. What did I ever do to that girl to be so cruel and kick me down when I am already in the gutter? She hardly knows me. Gina and Gamble hear the commotion from the kitchen and come out. Gamble says to me “don’t go.” As soon as I hear those words I burst into tears and the emotions I was tightly holding on to just come pouring out.
Gamble says “I don’t want Pettifleur to be upset, I don’t want her to feel left out; I felt so sorry for her.” “I don’t want her to feel victimised, I just want her to get out of her own ass.” Victimised… umm!!! A bit too late for that now. But I will take any kindness at this stage as I was feeling pretty discarded. However, my head was sitting very tall and propped up on my burdened shoulders with lots of courage and strength. Because that’s what I needed to come out of Gamble’s home unscathed.
Gamble apologies for throwing the invitation, re-invites me and we hug and make up. I see the first sign of kindness by Gamble towards me and I take it a mental note. On the other hand it is hard to see Jackie seething with anger and been a mean girl. Saying nasty things like she wouldn’t have re-invited me and the “negative energy” to her wedding if she was Gamble. Thank christ you are not Gamble. I forgive Jackie for insulting me, to my face, she is always drunk on that tutiee fruity alcohol she produces. What cracks me up is watching Jackie’s eyeball’s rolling around like marbles in her eye sockets when she is drunk and the faces she pulls.
Lydia is upset and Janet is giving her a hug. The next moment you hear Janet say she does not buy Lydia’s B.S. of “trying to bring Pettifleur and Gamble together.” “True.” However, I know Janet’s games too well, one minute Janet is hugging you, laughing with you and the next moment she is taking a stab, and saying nasty things about you behind your back. I have been a sucker to that trick of Janet’s and convinced she really likes me until I hear that she has bitched behind my back or is gossiping about me. Don’t trust Janet, Miss Lydia, she will roll you like a sausage. I think Lydia was genuinely upset and it is unkind of Susie to make that comment “Lydia’s like a cat, she always lands on her feet.” I am getting tired of Susie taking a stab at Lydia every moment. Even though Lydia and I have not resolved our issues I’m still not going to stick the boot in her. I personally don’t think that it’s appropriate for anyone (Susie included,) to constantly discredit a person. This nasty talk, when done repetitively, could bias mean and impressionable women. (We have a few mean girls in the pack) I am talking about the ones who are under the radar because they have their little puppets to support their B.S. This is just my observation.
I left Gambles that evening feeling so much sadness in more ways than one, I had to tap into my inner strength and pick myself up again. I have learnt along the way that every time I get kicked down, I pick myself up, dust myself off and get a little bit stronger by the experience.
Gina and Gamble are shopping at the Lingerie store and after a few twirls by Gamble showing off that fabulous butt of hers the conversation turns to me. This time they are having a laugh. Gina: “At the end of your wedding , we will find Pettifleur in a closet with a sock in her mouth.” “I did it,” Gina said said it with some humour behind it. No hard feelings Gina and Gamble. It is bloody funny, even I laughed when I heard it. I do get it when it is just having a bit of fun.
However I am confused when I hear Gamble say “I’ll just let Pettifleur enjoy the company of the other girls whilst I just get on with getting married.” All right Gamble thanks for the monumental invite. I was wrong to think that Gamble and I had moved on.
Janet opening up about her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder diagnosis as an offset of her son’s burns accident was very poignant and my heart went out to Janet and her son. I am really sorry to hear this. Our children are precious to us and with something as horrific as what happened to her son, I am not surprised this happened to Janet as a result. I will most certainly be more aware of her mood swings and changing her stories all the time in the light of this. I was really starting to think that Janet is a compulsive liar and made up stories. But I stand to be corrected now and will have a lot more patience and sympathy for Janet.
The dynamic between Brian and Janet was uncomfortable and forced, I can only make an observation from what Janet has told us in private. However, it was lovely to see the family together. Family time is key no matter what they choose to discuss.
Gina the dog whisperer. (If you didn’t notice she told the dog to F**k off) arrives for a conversation with Lydia about Susie = assumption; assumption; assumption. Yes we get it, Susie has her knickers loaded up with ammunition against Lydia and Lydia is loaded up with truth syrum which clearly can’t treat her problem as she keeps denying her long standing friendship with Ms Martha Stewart aka Susie. I think Susie should just bake a cake for Lydia and all will be well. I hate to think of the ingredients that will go into that cake. Lydia and Gina seems to be getting along just fine.
The ladies who dared to pull out their wedding dresses looked absolutely stunning, with the exception of Jackie, who had demanded her designer throw beads, frills, ruche, sequins, lace, satin, pots and pans into a far-too-short dress. You can’t blame a girl for wanting everything on her wedding day. It was a shame that her bodice was too tight and appeared crooked. Chyka and I were the only ones in vintage bridal dresses; the other ladies’ dresses were fairly new.
My heart broke for Gamble as she broke down at the thought of not having her own biological child. The joy of having children is priceless and I’m so happy that she has Luke.
Starting with Lydia, us ladies started to share our own personal experiences which was absolutely so beautiful with a touch of humour. I was very moved to hear Susie discuss her son’s horrific accident – it is a mother’s worst nightmare to witness their child in pain and helpless.
It was my turn to share my own poignant wedding story. Even though I didn’t feel totally comfortable with this group of women, the mood was so touching as we were sharing these heartfelt stories I felt drawn to open up. I have lived with the regret of never having the opportunity of my father walking me down the aisle. It is a yearning that will never surpass me as he is now ill and a touching experience that I will never be able to experience with the most incredible human being that I call Daddy. I can categorically say that Jackie’s vulgar and disrespectful expressions, body language and stony-faced looks during my personal account is nauseating to relive. For such a self-professed, spiritual truth-teller, Jackie’s comments about my story were condescending, obnoxious and highly rude. The biggest accolade for a father is to walk his daughter down the aisle (something that I assume Jackie was fortunate to be privilege with). Jackie slamming me for sharing such an intimate part of my life is disgusting, selfish and the lowest blow.
It’s always a girl’s dream for the most important man in her life (Dad) to walk her down the isle, and it’s a father’s proudest moment. To hold his little girl’s arm and give her away in marriage on the most important day of her life. This opportunity was taken away from me due to funds being unavailable to fly him from Si Lanka to Australia. The second time I married overseas. At the time, my husband’s family was going through a divorce. So, with respect to them, we decided to elope. We tried Paris (#rejected). We tried San Francisco (#rejected). So good ol’ Vegas came knocking on the door. We married at the White Chapel, where many famous people have married and divorced (just like me!). Hence, my father missed out again. Reflecting, it didn’t occur to me how this would effect me for the rest of my life. My Daddy is the most gracious, kindest man that I am privilege to have as a dad. He would never make me feel that I’ve deprived him in any way.
Janet’s wedding story was hilarious: we were all cracking up. I loved it – that was gold!
The conversation between Lydia and Susie was hilarious as Susie called her ‘Lydiot’ to her face and Lydia didn’t even bat an eyelid – the lights were on but no one was home. At this stage, it seems as though Susie has a bag full of vendettas and guns loaded that she comes armed with for every conversation with Lydia. Lydia, on the other hand, denies everything and dodges every bullet with the armour of her “quick” wit. The conversation was very uncomfortable and unresolved and with the rolling of their eyes it is apparent that they both think that the other is talking crap. Until there is proof, I remain neutral on Susie’s and Lydia’s persistent accusations. My care factor for ‘she did it’, ‘he did it’, ‘she said it’ and ‘he said it’ is frozen at zero.
As I was saying to Chyka – I do miss Lydia and I feel positive about being able to mend my relationship with her. She has been there for me since day one. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t speak to Jackie about my relationship with Lydia, as she is viciously verbal about her. In fact, I wouldn’t ask for her opinion on anything concerning me, or anyone close to me. So, the fact that she is sitting on the sideline, commenting on my need to Switch the Bitch is downright uncalled for. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and Jackie is speaking from Ur-anus.
Jackie takes the bridezella trophy today.
Thanks for reading my blog, I hope you enjoyed it.
Lot’s of love,
Pettifleur"
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