So this week we pick up right where we left off. Aviva is attacking Carole. Aviva, if you don't know the difference between a ghost writer and an editor, please keep your mouth shut. Aviva is saying she didn't hire a ghost writer for her book. Oh, I guess Aviva just wrote a long e-mail and had it published. Carole is shaking, who can blame her? Writing is here life.
As the fight moves out into the house, Carole calls Aviva a psychopath. I would personally use the word sociopath, but hey, that is just me. Aviva's comeback for being called soul-less; 'At least I'm not fifty years old' criticizing Carole's age... really Aviva? Just goes to show you, you can't teach crazy class. Carole just grabbed Aviva by the face. Carole is fuming, I'm surprised she didn't push Aviva down the stairs.
Carole is now talking to Heather, 'Aviva is crazy' Heather *nods* 'I know.' At this point I'm really laughing, Heather is all like, I could have told you that. That bitch is a couple vanilla wafers short of a banana pudding! Sonja wants to call Carole post menopausal. Sonja, just because you've been in menopause for the last thirty years doesn't mean everyone else is! Kristen is just sitting there like 'ummm yay house warming!!!' As Carole is leaving she says 'Harry it was so nice to meet you! I totally understand your divorce!' The shade of it all!
Heather is approaching Aviva because rule number one: Don’t fuck with my friends, Rule number two: see rule number one. Heather tells Aviva to be careful because fucking with someone's career is dangerous. Especially if it's the same career you're getting into! #DumbBlonde should be the name of Aviva's book. Ramona has invited Heather over to talk about the trip she plans on taking to the African Safari. Ramona's description of these animals is giving me life... monkeys with blue balls. I'm sure that not where that saying came from Ramona, but we will give you a pass. These two women get into a discussion about the 'house warming.' Fitting title considering #BookGate had the party ablaze.
Ramona says she never expected the fight to escalate, Ramona we love you even if you are conniving and shady. Girl, that's why we watch! Heather said it all, 'I'm never going to understand Aviva Drescher.' Ramona wants to say, who does Heather think she is for sticking up for Carole, 'a martyr?' Seriously Ramona if that was Sonja you would of went in the room during the fight and fought the battle for her!! Heather is doing what a real friend does!
Carole is meeting with her editor, Carole is the boss, like she said it's her words! So do what she says because what may seem insignificant to you, it isn't to a writer. It's important. I love that they are showing us Carole's process because it is proof that Aviva is just spreading vicious lies. While I love Carole, she needs to not let it get to her. Honey you are fabulous and you don't see it, even with those glasses on. Sonja is meeting with her interns, the only one I'm paying any attention to is Tyler Mills, he's gay and hot. Hey Tyler, if you read this, know this. You have a fan club! Sonja is all over the place, no wonder she can't focus or multi task, but hey sign me up for the gay clubs! (the female intern looks frightened. At least Sonja knows she's cray cray.) Shit faced on amphetamines, no wonder you always seem half drunk LMAO.
I would definitely be an intern for Sonja. I know what you're thinking!! It's not just because of Tyler ! Although a hookup would be an added bonus. She's fun and out there just like me, maybe she needs a writer? lol. Let me know Sonja! Time for Aviva's book cover. She invited Kristen who has become my favorite on the show. That shade, snarkiness, and the way you fish for information, already a true housewife! Aviva is trying to be nice. Kristen sees right through it. Really Aviva you had writing background? Then why all the deflecting because you know Kristen is right! Changing the subject to ducks? Bitch we aren't idiots. Ramona and Avery are talking about prom. Ramona has every right to be worried I mean it's NYC! Ramona thinks Avery is going to be a good little girl, but we all know how teenagers are. If Avery is a virgin, I was to at seventeen!!
Ramona is grabbing her Pinot and who can blame her? Oh shit here comes the tears because Ramona just saw Avery in her prom dress. Ramona, she's a beautiful young lady, be proud! I see your daughter doing great things and that should fill you with peace. Ramona says Avery leaving would be like taking one of her arms because Avery has been with her whole life. Ramona, you don't need one of Aviva's xanax, I'm sure you got a script hiding somewhere. Kristen, Heather, and Josh (Kristen's husband) are training for the Spartan Race.! BTW Will, the trainer is very, very good looking. Heather says that if Kristen can't keep up, Heather will stay with her. We shall see my friends. Carole and Eric (Carole's VP) are opening wine for a baby shower that Carole is throwing. This baby shower is already crazy because according to Sonja the caterer is serving diet pills and vodka. Just because that's all you are on Sonja doesn't mean Carole needs any.
Carole takes Ramona to the side to let her know Aviva has not changed. Ramona says the reason she told Carole was she'd want to know. Also, that she'd rather have Carole's friendship than Aviva’s. Only time will tell because to me it is obvi that Sonja and Aviva are thick as thieves. It's shocking to me that Ramona is just realizing that all Carole has is her work, girl, you know this bitch has no man or kids! Note to Aviva: to belittle Carole and her writing is if someone was to belittle YOUR marriage and your parenting.
Kristen and Sonja were all eyes on that Ramona/Carole conversation. I mean it's the two head bitches! One old school housewife and one new school, who wouldn't watch? It's time now for the Spartan Race. Heather brought Will! He's so hot. No wonder Heather is in such good shape. I have got to say Kristen and Heather show us true beauty with no make-up! Josh tells Kristen he won't leave her behind, but I got to say you wouldn't catch me on the course ever. Mud, barbed-wire... oh hell naw! Heather's tune has changed, ohh and so has Josh's. Kristen has been left in dust by EVERYONE. I'd be pissed. I mean she's a model, and there is barbed-wire. Kristen is more of a bad ass than I am. She's taking all that pent up anger out on the race!! GO KRISTEN! Josh comes over right after, Kristen isn’t having that shit! 'Seriously, get the fuck off me!' Who can blame her? She's was left to do the race alone and that muddy ass shit. Awww hell naw, I'm too much of a diva for that. I wouldn't even start so props to all of you for finishing! Heather has that warrior spirit!!! #HOLLA Josh? Man up? She's a woman? Wow. Let's leave on that note for this week, but next week is going to be a shade filled blog! There is so much next week!
Follow Joshua on Twitter: Follow @jponfire28
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
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