Gamble Breaux is taking to her
Arena Blog to dish on Episode 3 of
The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Gamble Breaux shares her thoughts on her 'dramatic' confrontation with Janet Roach . Gamble writes:
"Hey Guys,
Gamble Breaux here blogging from Mount Eliza Melbourne. It’s a sunny Friday afternoon and I just brought the dogs home from the beach. They love to swim in the crystal clear bay just down from the house.
Time to pop open an apple cider and dish the dirt on RHOM ep3 Season 2!
Rumours: the cunning way to be accusative without need of substance!
First we find Chyka in one of her signature, oversized necklaces waiting for Lydia at The Smith. Chyka could run for mayor with her sunny disposition and various connections.
Her company is involved with every major event that makes this city the most liveable in the world.
Lydia floats in and promptly orders a Kiwi Cocktail. “Kiwi makes you regular,” she confides in Chyka.
Lydia is off to Florence to see her 24 year-old son tie the knot, which leaves the title of “grandmother” looming over her head. I see Lydia as a romantic, however I can’t help feel the prospect of being a grandmother would leave anyone with mixed emotions.
Lucky for Lydia she does not need to think about it for long because Chyka has some juicy gossip!
She tells Lydia about the “thank you” lunch where she and Janet notified me of rumours being spread on the back of a story published in the newspaper.
The story was about a Supreme Court case between my prominent ex-partner and myself. It was over the ownership of a luxury car he bought me. The judge characterised the case as an episode of ‘Days of our Lives’.
Chyka then tells Lydia that Janet said she had heard gossip that I was a stripper, call girl and that I held sex parties.
Oh sweet joy to Lydia’s ears! Lydia rolls back in her chair grinning from ear to ear. Lydia may know more than she is letting on.
Carlos (the 1940’s flapper pig owner) is a friend of Lydia and the source of some of the rumours. Could Lydia be stirring the pot with someone else’s spoon, I wonder?
We now visit Jackie and Ben who are looking for the new face of La Máscara. This has Ben’s creative juices flowing with Jackie tossing word cards around like the 1980’s INXS film clip ‘Mediate’.
Enter Janet!
Jackie has picked up Janet’s sadness and sits her down for some spiritual counselling.
Jackie could just as easily be packaged as an intuitive woman with high moral values, common sense and a big heart.
I resign myself to call her psychic, firstly because Janet listens to her and secondly because I don’t want to get the death glare, be shined off or risk angel attack.
Without going into the nuts and bolts of the conversation, Janet gets some very kind non-biased advice from Jackie about how to handle me.
Janet lines up her golf day and Jackie gets a well-deserved purple confetti shower, Mariah Carey style, for the La Máscara promo clip they are shooting.
Cut to me at home freshening up after ambush lunch. I’m hopping mad however it’s not going to make me miss the fashion parade. I don’t take Janet’s call or respond to Chyka’s text message.
Next we get to the rise and high-rise of Pettifleur (Frump Tower).
Enter Charlotte, eyebrow artist and co-author of "Switch the Bitch". Charlotte slinks in and joins Pettifleur for tea and flattery.
Pettifleur asks Charlotte how many chapters she has written for their book “Switch the Bitch”.
Charlotte has written ten well thought out chapters, she tells Pettifleur. Charlotte called her chapters “An instruction guide, the formula to the ultimate dance of love for women. How to capture the heart of the man you want!”
Pettifleur tells Charlotte she has written 20 chapters about how to 100 % switch the bitch on, but not turning your partner on. She adds Charlotte’s contribution doesn’t blend with her ideals.
Pettifleur boasts she is writing the “best-seller” by herself to a bemused Charlotte. Pettifleur shows sympathy for herself, reflecting on a chapter when she felt soulless. She does not have the same empathy for her co-author.
I check the remote because I think I have accidentally switched over to The Apprentice with Pettifleur standing in for Donald Trump!
Did Charlotte just get fired? Looks like you will have to buy two books if you want to harness the dynamic duo’s abilities to seduce your man and to unnecessarily belittle unsuspecting people in the service industry.
Jackie and Janet arrived at the annual Chadstone fashion parade to a blaze of camera flashes. I arrived shortly after them in a shocking mood.
I was looking forward to seeing Jackie, but should have stayed home because I was still hopping mad with Chyka and Janet for popping my engagement announcement bubble.
We meet up in the VIP section.
I tried to explain to Jackie what happened at lunch. I lost my temper when Janet corrected me saying that she had actually called me a stripper and not a pole dancer. I don’t know much about Janet but I do know she is fantastic at embellishing stories.
In one of my less than diplomatic moments I decided to give Janet a taste of her own medicine. I called her a heroin addict.
Not sure how I came up with that one but she kind of reminds me of Keith Richards. I have been told she likes a party so I embellished that to make a point. (I am actually very ashamed of that moment and I would take it back if I could).
Gina then arrived and I tried to tell her why I was upset. Gina thought I was upset because Janet was hitting on Rick (Wolfie) at the engagement party.
I’m actually upset because I have lived and worked in Melbourne on and off since my husband and I divorced.
My ex fiancé owned a factory that employed around 200 Melbournians! I feel Janet is treating me like I just got off the boat….. or in this case the pole. Being from Sydney, of course we all run around naked holding sex parties!!
Waving my arm around seemed to highlight how ridiculous the statement “everyone in Melbourne” was to me. I have over 2000 Facebook friends who have never said anything of the sort to me.
I resigned myself to sitting down and watching the fashion parade with the girls.
I waved my arms around a little more at Janet and then put myself into a cab and cried the whole way home.
Janet had hit a nerve. The failed relationships had not been very good for my self- esteem. I’m just blessed I have a partner who is not influenced by anything than hard, cold evidence.
To tell you the truth I think Rick would stick with me regardless of anything thrown at us. So I will hold my head high and my middle finger higher. (Wisdom from Lisa Tonkin).
Lydia is an ambassador to the Shane Warne Foundation. She meets Shane Warne in Southbank to get poker lessons. They are hosting a charity poker night to raise money for sick kids.
They sit down with Joe & Tony Hachem, brothers who are world-class poker players. She is taught poker terms like ‘Flop’, ‘Nuts’, ‘Gun shot’, ‘Back door’ and ‘The River’.
They begin to play with a lot of sexual innuendos being exchanged. Lydia hopes to get the ‘Nuts’, otherwise known as the best possible hand.
She practices her poker face and is now set for the foundation’s charity night.
Big kiss for Shane Warne and we are all left wondering if he isn’t a little smitten with her.
Rick and I are at home the morning after the Chadstone lasso fight with Janet.
He is very reassuring and cheers me up.
Chyka is in the closet… with daughter Chessie. It is not established where Chyka’s son sleeps because his room was renovated into a walk in wardrobe. Some of us have a chocolate stash, Chyka has a Hermes handbag stash!
Chessie tries to help her mother cull some of her designer rags. A pair of green and blue silk pants nearly breaks free from the crammed shelf. Chyka puts them back. Chessie will have to sedate her mother before she is willing to part with any of her exotic pieces. We meet Claudia, Chyka’s housekeeper who has to act as security from unauthorised daughter borrowings.
Janet meets Manuela at The Conservatory for lunch. I’m sure Manuela has some redeeming qualities. I’ve just yet to find one.
The restaurant is simply sublime! Janet walks in looking stunning in her figure hugging blue dress and shoulder length hair. She sits down with her friend of 14 years. Manuela tells Janet her hair looks terrible. The hairdresser did a bad job she scoffs at her fresh faced friend. I feel sorry for Janet at this comment and my heart softens for her.
Janet describes Manuela as one of Melbourne’s ‘elite’ who knows “Everyone in Melbourne”. I personally think to myself this would have been a better time to accuse Janet of taking drugs! WTF! Elite!?
Janet makes a joke… she is only friends with Manuela because she is too scared to be enemies with her. That’s one way to build a relationship, fear and intimidation!
Manuela wants to know how her friend Pettifleur is settling into the group.
Janet states the jury is out, however she admits she is really beginning to like Pettifleur. Janet admires her for the self-help book ‘Switch the Bitch’ and feels there is a lot of depth to her.
Janet tells Manuela about my lasso performance at Chadstone and so the Gamble roast begins. Without going into detail, any generation Y or X would simply Google someone.
Janet and Manuela speculate on my career and look for signs of guilt in my reaction to Janet’s tsunami of BS. Manuela says she would laugh if someone called her a stripper! So would I! Hardly a problem she will face.
What does Gamble dooooo?? The dinosaurs don’t have access to Google? LinkedIn?
No, better to speculate and mock.
Strippers do Pilates twice a day!! Heads roll back, hilarious! High five! At the end of the conversation suddenly Manuela remembers she has heard the rumours also!!!
Janet’s like, “why didn’t you say something!”
Manuela: “I didn’t know… BS BS…” (How to get any attention till now)!!
Manuela tells Janet, “You and I own this town!”
I am astonished by the arrogance of these women and how disparaging they are about another woman… let alone that it is me.
I need a lawyer!
Fitzrovia St Kilda, I catch up with Gina. I tell Gina in detail about the conversation I had with Janet and Chyka over lunch and why I am upset.
Gina is collecting the facts to try and help me resolve the issue, without making a further dick of myself.
They are really serious allegations and Gina thinks that Janet is being naïve if she thinks it won’t ruin my life. I don’t think that Janet cares if she ruins my reputation.
In fact, I feel she will seek attention in any forum. Gina offers to speak to Janet about the situation and I am relieved for the support.
All I can say is thank god for Gina or I would feel completely alone.
It’s getting late and must get dinner started.
Good night to my new friends in Australia, UK and America."
What do you think about Gamble’s blog?
The Real Housewives of Melbourne airs Sunday nights at 8:30pm on Arena and Thursday nights at 9pm/8c on Bravo!
Source/Photo Credit: Arena
