by: Joshua Pramuk
This week's episode is entitled 'HOLLA in the Hampton's' from the promo's I can assume that Heather is going in guns blazing! Let's jump right into it. The episode starts with Sonja being late for her burlesque rehearsal. I am afraid of the fiasco this could be because Sonja seems to be scatter brained. That's not all that has been scattered about in Sonja if you get my drift. Here she is the miss commando herself, ugh the visual.
These people have scripts and everything. Sonja follows a script? Don't make me laugh. Sonja is all over the place, she claims she see's herself like Liza! Yeah Liza in her medicated stage. Carole, Kristen, and Heather are headed to the
Hamptons! At the beach the girls decided to take surfing lessons. Carole says the
Hamptons is so out of her comfort zone, hey honey you are royalty!
Sonja got her car out of storage and of course it will not start. Wow it's crazy, hope these things aren't an omen for how the burlesque will be! Sonja is apparently borrowing a house while she's in the Hampton's. She goes on to say that in her house she doesn't have hot water because it's too expensive. Girl, how does a college allow you interns if you can't even get hot water? It must be exhausting wearing a mask to the multitudes. Pushing everything to the back burner isn't going to help you now Sonja! Deal with your ish! Back to the surfing lessons, look like they’re having fun! Heather is a natural! Kristen was meant to live in a wet suit. Carole is so flirting with one of the surfer guys. Really who can blame her? Like Heather said, get you some!
It's the day of the 'Caburlesque' Sonja is taking her inspiration from 'The Great Gatsby' the movie. Ohh okay that's not crazy at all! Harry has the gaul to say to Kristen, in front of Josh (her husband), 'She's my new wife.' If I was Josh, I'd be fuming! LuAnn has arrives and Carole is nervous about it, shit Carole she can be very scary! I must say though it's great to see the Countess once again. I've actually kind of missed her.
Sonja is in her dressing room and Yass! She's singing; 'Let's Have a Kiki' if you don't know what that is, look it up! Kristen meets LuAnn, and they seem like they’re getting along well. You know what they say though, if a woman is over forty, and has flower in her hair she's cray cray AKA Planet Bananas. Oh yeah LuAnn is the one with the flower in her hair. This *cough* image consultant, Amanda looks like she showed up for a funeral and her ensemble doesn't even look 1920's style! I've gots to say Aviva’s hair is amazing. Amanda, no one cares if you met Harry, when you meet Harry, or who you are EVEN ARE! Frankly my dear, you’re an extra. Aviva talks to The Countess and updates her on all the make ups and fall outs within the group. This character assassination on Carole makes me so angry! Aviva, you know good and well Carole never called you a bad mother. She never said that you never had a job either. Don't blame editing, you did that last season. Honey, you need to just own up or up your meds. Sonja tried to sit Carole next to Aviva. In Carole's words 'I love you Sonja for trying, but that's never gonna happen. 'Heather cracked me up 'Here let's move it... I'm putting you next to me.’
Sonja's getting ready for her performance and she has me laughing my ass off! No more tigers blood for Sonja, it is aluminum blood. Freaking love it! Sonja is killing it on stage but Aviva's image consultant is being so rude, bitch shut up! As Heather said 'ill mannered'. Sonja’s body is banging, and the fact she wrote the script... with help. But still, she has a nice ass, and um a presence about her. Not stage presence, another form. She had fun, and that's all that matters. Kristen has invited Sonja, Heather, and Carole to see her friend Alba's bathing suit cover up fashion line. Sonja doesn't want to try anything on. Sonja instead tries to hit on an Argentinean. I'm just saying he's batting for my team, no doubt about it! Sonja calls her intern pickles, like seriously? Heather and Carole both look amazing in the scene. Sonja tells the girls Harry is having lunch with Amanda and Aviva. Amanda is a catty bitch, she even gave Aviva a dirty look because Aviva said Sonja was fantastic. I guess Amanda is good for Aviva's image... she makes her look better by the second. Trust, I'm still no fan of one leggy blonde.
I live for Carole's cattiness, because it's true Shade dahhhling.
LuAnn is throwing everyone a BBQ party. Guess who shows up, AMANDA as Sonja said, 'Like a bad rash.' Kristen looks amazing! Wow! I love, love Sonja's dress to just wondering if it's off the rack. Heather's trainer came with Carole. Will Spence, he's so sexy. After all the negativity that Amanda showed at Sonja's performance now she's all up on her like they’re best friends? Two face, yes Heather she is, and she’s also a money hungry whore from what I can tell. Hey Amanda, could you go find a sugar daddy somewhere that reality shows don't exist?
Carole pulls LuAnn to the side and apologizes to her. Aviva makes the comment that Carole is playing chess. Girl, get your own material, quit stealing from other shows. LuAnn, Sonja, Kristen, Josh, and Aviva are together when Aviva says it again that Carole called her a bad mother. Never happened Aviva, Sonja is going on about how Carole should have said congrats to Aviva, and Kristen is trying to say she did tell her that at first. Aviva, this would of never been what it was if you hadn't kept insinuating that Carole used ghost write. No one else wants to talk about it except you and Sonja! Kristen wants to slap a bitch. Here is Carole and Heather. Thank you Heather! She's trying to explain to Aviva that the fact she lies, isn't right. Now I really can't understand anything because Sonja, Amanda, Heather, and Aviva all talking at once, I got lost in some of this conversation. This always happens with the NY housewives hahaha. Amanda tells Heather she needs to walk the fuck away!! Ohh hell No! That bitch needs to get up, not Heather. Heather didn't even do anything to warrant an attack at all! 'Deck me sweetie, I dare YOU.' You can tell Amanda isn't really 'about it' and BTW next time, don't bring ignorance to a shade fight honey.
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The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
Photo Credit: Bravo
