by: Joshua Pramuk
Lisa's Angels is the title of this episode. Whaaat? We all know there is not one Angel on this show. The show opens with the cast talking about doing a gay pride parade float. Lisa has the bright idea to allow Scheana do her song for the entire parade.
I am a fan of Scheana but I can see this being a moment for the rest of the cast (minus Ariana) to rip on her. I am gay, and I do love Scheana's song, so I can say she has a point about gays liking her song. This leads Tom Sandaval to say 'Scheana you preformed once at a gay club in
Chicago that doesn't mean your Lady Gaga.' I will have to agree, Scheana isn't Lady Gaga, she's Scheana... Tom you’re not an officiano of all things gay unless there is something we don't know about you., wouldn't surprise me. Muscle men dressed as angels is the theme of the float this year, and I agree with Lisa it is a very cute idea. I just love seeing Ken Lee having a great time with these wings. 'Shi, shi, shi!!'
Tom Sandavol, Tom Schwartz, and Jax are riding bikes. Am I the only one who thinks it would be funny to see a gnarly bike wreck between Jax, and Sandavol? Sandavol says how Jax is a liar, if there is anyone that thinks Jax is not a liar you are in the one percent. Jax, you need to stay as far away from Stassi as possible. Sandavol is apparently pissed about having to wear the wings, and Jax says he's going to 'veto' the idea. Umm Jax you have no power, Lisa owns your ass, you know this. OMG Sandavol! No sir, booty popping? These guys are acting like Caddy Gays are you sure there isn't something you need to tell us Sandavol?
Back at SUR Lisa calls a meeting. Scheana is happy and who can blame her? After being tortured by the 'mean girls' now her ally at SUR in Ariana. I think we actually found someone that Kristen fears. She's a breath of fresh air. Kristen seems pissed still about Ariana and Tom, but the rumor stated with Jax, enough said. I told you Jax your veto was going to be shut down just like I predicted. Jax is asked to show off his tattoo of Stassi's name which was the stupidest thing Jax has ever ever done, and Lisa finds it cute? Puhleez.
A white float is being built. Ken Lee tells Stassi she's good at stapling, that takes talent. I like how Stassi looks at this as falling angels. It's pretty AWESOME. Scheana goes to studio to get a remix for her song for the parade, she compares being a pop star to being a cheerleader. Umm no Scheana a Pop Star is one person that can captivate millions. There is no team involved. I really like the beat for the remix Scheana picked. It rocks. I think the name of her album should be Werk, Twerk, Drink, F**k.
Peter and Jax are going out with two of Jax's friends Pete and Bennett. Jax is continually hitting up these girls. He goes on to brag about sleeping with porn stars AND strippers, no thank you no telling how many times he has caught VD. Really hooking up with a ballerina is just another notch on your belt. I'm getting disgusted by this whole display Jax, but on the other hand he really needs v to switch things up. Stassi and Jax are toxic together it's like when Bobby met Whitney all over again. It's time for the Gay Pride Parade! Yay!! And Scheana wants the gays to love it; I think I'm going to!
Stassi gets to dress up different from everyone else, in a pink and jeweled burlesque outfit no less, it as the champagne queen she's rocking it! Stassi wants to rip her ears off because of the amount of times Scheana's song is going to be played? But a fun dance remix over, and over again surrounded by a bunch of hot guys? I'll take your place Stassi. The cast is being split up into two groups, Stassi and Katie's group is known as group A (in their minds). Really I have to disagree.
On the other float there is going to be dancing, singing, and Scheana. Stassi honey the gays love to dance, not much for horrid pessimism. The guys (Peter, Sandavol, and Jax) are drinking and Lisa rolls up on them she's all like 'no, no no put the beer down or have imprints of my diamond rings in your flesh.' Okay so she didn't actually say that but she's that intimidating. More team A, team B bs, and Ariana is killing it in her outfit,, she is fierce honey. Katie tells Stassi straight up that Jax took home the ballerina. Really Katie? Not the time or place, a really bitchy thing to do just to get a rise out of Stassi. Predictably it works, Stassi starts going off on Jax. Stassi this shouldn't be a surprise to you. If you don't want him then get over it. I am. I can't take this constant bickering when you two aren't even together. Go find you a nice guy, or girl for that matter and relieve that tension girl. Jax, thank you! You can do what you want, she left you!! You tell her. Stassi keeps raising her voice, and I'm screaming at the TV 'shut up I can't hear Scheana's song!' which is actually an awesome remix! Scheana, her voice sounds great and she looks good too. Stassi says 'I now believe in the power of auto tune.' The record may be auto tuned, but her singing was not, jealous much? Get over it your not the center of attention today.
Although it is painfully right there in front of my eyes that you tried you’re hardest. Here we go protesters at the parade, and I'm angry. These idiots need to GET A LIFE. Hmm the power of gay, brings out the haters. That means things are being done RIGHT! Everyone on the float is having the times of their lives, it makes me smile to see things happy for once on this show. Ariana just called Lisa an 'Icon' in the gay community.
I love Lisa but ‘Icon’ is a strong word my dear. She is highly respected. Back to SUR we go, Kristen who was noticeably absent from the parade is sitting down now with Katie and Stassi, needlessly to say Stassi and Katie talk her into confronting Ariana about the text messages between her and Tom. This I want to see, Kristen actually acts afraid of Ariana and I'm digging it. Who wouldn't be intimidated by this bad bitch? Here we go confrontation time!! Kristen goes right up to Ariana and says 'did you ever hook-up with my boyfriend' Ariana simply replies NO.
Kristen is asking the same question in a thousand different ways now. She said no, what more do you want? Kristen goes on to say she wanted Ariana to act defensively. Umm okay because that makes sense. If she would act defensive she would have seemed guilty. Ariana says in her interview, that yes she has been texting Kristen's boyfriend because that is what friends do, and they have been friends a long time. Kristen your own insecurities are the problem, and the fact that your BF is more of a high maintenance diva then you.
Text messages make you uncomfortable Kristen? Girls and boys are sometimes friends. Love this freaking theory that Kristen started the whole rumor about Ariana and Tom! BELIEVEABLE! More Jax, and Stassi? Next. You two are not dating. Stassi says she doesn't want him. Then please. For. Us. All. Stop! Ken, is networking with Gays. Too cute :-) Kristen is confronting Tom. Wow she's totally flipping out I think Ariana was right. Google the nearest psychiatrist. Get you some Xanax and Lexapro AND calm the F down. She wants to be around Tom 24/7, WOW Kristen is done. I don't see that lasting long. Till next week
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Vanderpump Rules airs Monday nights at 9/8c only on Bravo!
Photo Credit: Bravo
